The Nature of a Sunset

What is the nature of an exquisite sunset or the artist who paints a smoke-scape upon a palette of crystalline blue?
To see the fan-like strokes; to drink deeply of the flaming pink and tangerine.
The tiny rainbow hidden in the heart of pearl colored clouds, glowing unseen, 
but felt.
 Looking deeply into this majestic canvas to know the elements of atmosphere; atoms of liquid reflecting light, fleeting gases imparting tints and hues. 
Energy from solar flares, and water that has been oceans and streams; resting on
the dust of meteors, or the dust of the dirty streets of New York.
Knowing how ephemeral is the nature of this concordance: 
Just now, just this moment as such; and then transforming into another such-ness.
Never gone but never again, just like this. 

Nothing is from nowhere, no thing becomes nothing. 

My life bursting gloriously across the sky of this lifetime; brilliant, ecstatic. In its very nature aspiring to be, all it is meant to be...the nature of this exquisite sunset.



May these words benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman


©Ellen M. Adelman 1/2013

Mind Body Intelligencetm is a trademark of 
Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute. 

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.

Other Sentient Beings: Our Family, Our World.

In Buddhism animals are seen as just as important as human beings. In Buddhist literature this is expressed so powerfully as the invitation to think of any animal as the possible reincarnation of a relative, like a grandparent or a parent.
 When viewed through this lens the life of the animal becomes a sacred thing. No compassionate being would want to hurt or starve a member of their own family. 

The unseen benefits:
For those of us who choose to live with animals and cherish them, this is an easy request to fulfill. We experience the animals that become a part of our lives as people; with desires, thoughts and feelings, like ours. We love them and many of them can express their love in return. In addition, it has been shown in numerous studies that folks who live with animals receive many significant health benefits; like lowering blood pressure and reducing heart disease. For more specifics, visit this link: http://www.pawssf.org/document.doc?id=15.
Understanding the Connections
Fostering a connection to animals and the natural world increases the opportunity to experience our shared one-ness. We can begin to feel on some deeper level, the unity of the planet and how we must care for all of it in order for any of us to flourish. Just as forgetting to put out a bowl of water will cause our pet dog to suffer, using too many pesticides can cause wild birds to suffer. When the chicks die because the shell of their eggs are too thin, we have fewer birds to eat the mosquitoes that suck our blood and transmit disease; or to manage the insects that destroy our crops. With uncontrolled pests we lose crops and more people go hungry; or we use more pesticides and develop more disease from contaminated food.
How we disconnect
It is easy to disconnect from the natural world. For many children, it seems that produce comes from the refrigerator  or the supermarket and not the farmer’s fields. We are unaware of the practices that deplete our farmlands or cause suffering to our fellow sentient beings like dolphins and chimpanzees. The connection to other living beings is there and it is real. We can experience it only if we are mindful.

We can begin to heal this ignorance and the resulting harm by inviting ourselves to become more aware, and by educating the generations that will succeed us. Many of us provide temporary shelter for homeless pets or donate to charities that work to stop animal torture or experimentation. 
Many of us refrain from eating animals or animal products that were obtained by causing pain or distress. These might seem like big commitments of time, energy, money, or life-stye changes.

How we heal
But anyone can take a moment to notice a sparrow and send lovingkindness to that little precious being. It costs nothing to give a tender caress to our pet dog or cat. Some of us are even lucky enough to live with a cat who meditates (see photo)!

Breathing in I look deeply into the eyes of my fellow being.

Breathing out I send compassion to their heart.

Breathing in I am reminded of my deep bonds with all the living beings on the planet.

Breathing out I set an intention to be part of the healing of all sentient beings.


May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman




Mind Body Intelligencetm is a trademark of Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute. 

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.

Psychotherapists who practice mindfulness have been shown to have better treatment outcomes with their patients. 

A fascinating study published in 2007 in the journal Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics reports on a randomized, double-blind, controlled study.

Therapists participated in a Zen meditation group daily from 7 to 8 in the morning before their treatment day began. Patients, however, were not exposed to the meditation training. 

Patients who were in treatment with the Meditating therapists showed significantly more progress in terms of symptom reduction and their ability to assess their own problems. They also reported significantly more satisfaction with their treatment, than the control group, whose therapists did not practice meditation. 

This study reminds us of the value of the use of the self of the therapist. . The authors point out that the development of the therapist as the instrument of therapy is a very different perspective from the current,pervasive emphasis on therapy techniques, (such as CBT or EMDR).

Mindfulness meditation practices enable us, as therapists, to be fully present with our patients and see them deeply and compassionately. These skills enhance our abilitiy to refrain from judgment and criticism, and from imposing our own agenda or counter-transferance onto our patients. 
This is one way that we can empower them to heal themselves. 

May this information benefit you, those you work with, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

Dr. Ellen Adelman
Sage Healing Institute

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Kind Resolutions 

As we point ourselves in the direction of the new year, our custom is to examine our flaws and shortcomings. Turning a harsh and critical eye on our bodies, minds and behaviors, we generate a comprehensive list and resolve to change in the coming months.

What if the starting point of our resolutions was a heart of kindness? What if we offered  ourselves affirmations,Instead of criticisms?:

• I know that I would enjoy being more generous with my time.
  

• I know that I would benefit from being more mindful about nutrition.
  

• I know that my relationships would benefit if I were less reactive.
  

• I know that I would feel better if I incorporated exercise into my schedule.
  

As Pema Chodron,a wonderful contemporary Buddhist teacher, tells us in her book “Start Where You Are”, 1994, When we are self-critical it is like doing violence to ourselves. Beginning from a place of kindness and compassion allows us to set a course for growth and change without the damage done by harsh criticism.

The power of kindness was demonstrated in a recent study at an elementary school in England, reported by the BBC. The study found that the 9 to 11 year olds, who performed three acts of kindness each week of the study, were rated as significantly more popular companions by their peers, than their counterparts who did an unrelated activity. 

Sandy Hook Tragedy: A Mindful Perspective

How painful and difficult it is to hear of the violence that took away the lives of 26 precious human beings, 20 of whom were little children.

We experience the full gamut of human emotion in response; from rage to regret, from deepest sorrow to helplessness.
 Yet, the most tragic outcome of last week’s killing would be for us all to rest in that feeling of helplessness.

It is true. There is nothing we can do to restore those lost lives. But as members of the human community we can and must be mindful of our responsibility in this matter.

President Obama has taken the lead. He has told us that he will not accept complacency and that a plan will be formulated and action will be taken.

What can you do?
You can make it clear to your elected officials that you expect action; that this violence and aggression is not acceptable.

But even those of us who cannot yet vote, can participate in transforming this country, and this planet, every day.

• Every time you refrain from criticism and judgment toward another human being, you transform the world into a better place.
  

• Every time you breathe mindfully and center, before you say something unkind; 
  

• Every time you find a respectful and open-hearted way to express your hurt, uncomfortable or disappointed feelings;
  

• Every time you treat a child with kindness or intervene when someone is being abused; 
  

• Every time you do this, with every mindful breath, you transform the world.
  

Breathing in the pain of this tragedy, I feel the sadness in my heart.
Breathing out I send lovingkindness to all who suffer.
Breathing in I am aware of the anger and aggression in my world.
Breathing out I intend to refrain from hurtful acts.

May we all find a way to be a part of the goodness in the universe, holding our own pain and transforming it into a source of healing.

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman


Mind Body Intelligencetm is a trademark of Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute. 

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.
©All rights reserved Ellen M. Adelman PhD 1/2013.

Greetings Mindful Members,

Today we sent out our first online newsletter!
In addition to our blog and website, the new email newsletter is one more way to stay up to date.

Find out about Sangha meetings, and other unique workshops.

The newsletter is a link to our blog and other postings, offering strategies for mindfulness practice and a Mind Body Intelligence inspired view of a mindful life.

We'll be using the newsletter to stay in touch with the Sage Healing Institute, invite you to upcoming events, alert you to new programs we're offering, discuss promotions and recap all of our recent happenings.

  Rejoice in your Good Fortune!

This holiday season is a time laden with emotion. Memories of past celebrations and wishes for the future may fill our minds. For some, this is a joyous experience, for others a painful one.

For some, it is a time of community and joining in happy events with those we love; for others a time of loss and grief over days gone by. It can be a time of feeling fulfilled or a time of emptiness and longing. For many it is both.

How compelling it is to get caught up in the urgency of hanging decorations, buying presents and the challenge of navigating office parties and family gatherings. It is easy to enter a state of forgetfulness and miss the possibility of many golden, satisfying experiences.

The Loss of the Spiritual
 Every year there are editorials in the newspaper about the shameful loss of the “spiritual” as the holidays (for many) have been transformed into an “orgy of consumption.” The critical nature of these diatribes, urging us to give up materialism and be more spiritual, rub a lot of people the wrong way. Feeling defensive about our customs and traditions, we are not inclined to look more deeply into the matter; yet there is something of value here. What has been lost to us from the past? What are the roots of these spiritual practices?
 We know that these times of great darkness, at the Winter Solstice, are times of fear and despair in the history of humanity; especially before we could provide light for ourselves at night. Across many cultures, including Christianity and Judaism, celebrations of light and hope were enacted. You might like to visit this Wikipedia link
to learn about these many traditions, from cultures you may have never heard of. These celebrations were meant to provide hope and a rededication to the wholesome values embodied by the symbol of light.

The Mindful Perspective
What can we do from a mindful perspective to be present and truly benefit from this time of celebration? How can we  employ our mindfulness to add our own light to the world;dispelling darkness. 

There is a wonderful Buddhist practice that has become part of the Mind Body Intelligencetm tradition. It is called “Rejoicing in your Good Fortune”. In this practice we choose to loosen our ties to clinging and to help develop an appreciation for the many gifts that we have already been given in this lifetime. The practice does not deny us the pleasure of giving or receiving material things. In fact, it may enhance our pleasure in the very acts of giving and acquiring, while diminishing the importance of the object (gift) being received. You can enjoy this practice in sitting meditation or informally, any time that seems beneficial.

“Breathing in I am aware of a gift that I have been given.”
“Breathing out I am grateful for that gift.”
 When I do this practice I am aware of the gift of being alive, of the breath, of health, of the ability to see or taste, of being creative; of my beautiful children, my husband, my pets, my home.

On the in-breath I identify the gift, on the out-breath I appreciate some aspect of the gift. 
 “Breathing in I am aware of the gift of my oldest child.
 Breathing out I enjoy the image of her face.
 Breathing in I am aware of the gift of my oldest child.
 Breathing out I cherish her kind nature.
 Breathing in......my oldest child
Breathing out I am aware of how she holds the future.”

If you invite yourself to practice like this for just a few minutes a day, you may notice a feeling of being quite wealthy. You may feel a deep sense of happiness for all  the blessings you have received. And you may notice a shift in your focus of enjoyment; when your delight comes more from the experience of being given to, and not as much from the object being given.

Of-course this practice does not intend to discount the losses or unhappiness we may be reminded of, especially at this time of year. It does afford us the opportunity to tenderly and mindfully hold those sad things, so that we have room to create an inner space where happiness may be enjoyed as well. 

From feelings of fulfillment and wealth, a natural well of generosity springs up. A generosity of spirit that enables us to be kind and loving, and to refrain from hurtful acts.

This truly creates a light against the cold darkness of winter’s criticism and judgment and holds a promise of a warm and compassionate spring for all of us!

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman

Mind Body Intelligence tm is a trademark of Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute. 

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.
©All rights reserved Ellen M. Adelman PhD 12/2012.

Understanding Clinging: One Great Source of Suffering

In Buddhist psychology we are taught that one of the two great sources of suffering is clinging. When we cling, we desire everything to go our way; we wish that whatever is enjoyable would continue forever. Here is an example, that in Mind Body Intelligence tm we call:“Birthday Cake Clinging”

I love birthday cake. It is part of a joyous celebration and I can give myself permission to indulge in something high in calories and fat, and very delicious. Just this once, you know...

My piece of cake is served to me and I feel happy, for a moment as I take my first bite. Now, the clinging begins. Looking around, I wonder: “Did I get the same size piece as other people? How come I didn’t get a rose?  Ahh,I should have asked. Will there be any left, after everyone has their first piece? Could I have seconds? What will people think if I do?.....”

Yes, the cake might be very delicious, but I am not present to enjoy it. I have traveled into the past with regret: (“I should have asked for a rose.”; and into the future with worry (“What will people think if I ask for more?”).
What does mindful Birthday Cake enjoyment sound like?
 First, I make the choice to be present in this moment.
“Breathing in I am excited to eat something delicious; breathing out I notice the deep brown color of the  chocolate cake”.
“Breathing in I am aware of my concern about eating so many calories; Breathing out I acknowledge my concern and choose a portion mindfully”.
“Breathing in I smell the cake; Breathing out I notice the sweet taste of the smell on my tongue.”
“Breathing in I look deeply into the cake; Breathing out I am aware of the many ingredients that come together in its formation.” 
“Breathing in I see the piece of cake on my fork; Breathing out I am grateful for the small miracle of its creation.”
“Breathing in I am aware of regret about not having more icing; Breathing out I acknowledge my regret and come back to focus on the delicious taste and texture of the icing already in my mouth.” 
“Breathing in I notice I am eating quickly; Breathing out I choose to slow down and savor each morsel.” 
 
The Benefits:
Practicing in this way offers me the gorgeous opportunity to be present in my own life and to bring this wonderful confection into my body in a loving way. My body will have time to feel satisfied, and not need more. My mind will have fully entered into the experience and feel that the cycle of acquiring nutrition and ingesting it are complete; and my spirit will be happy as I have refrained from being self-critical, opening myself to true enjoyment and pleasure.


The Nature of Clinging
 Clinging causes us suffering on two levels. 
 Residing on the first level is the belief that everything should go exactly as we would like.
 If we are married to that expectation, we will surely be disappointed, for most of our waking hours (and probably in our dreams as well). 

 As a result, when the universe unfolds in unexpected or undesirable ways; we may find that we feel chronically unhappy, become controlling with others, or we are just miserable to be around. 

On the second level; there is no way to make pleasant experiences (such as Birthday Cake) last forever. Directing our attention toward such a goal only drives us away from the moment. We miss the deep pleasure and fulfillment of the experience, and hurry down the road to find the next object or event that will give us a brief sense of happiness. 

In your practice of mindfulness, you might benefit from noticing clinging, when you can. Noticing, offers you the opportunity to refrain from clinging and open to your own experience as it unfolds! A deeper sense of contentment and joy await you!

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman

MBI tm Mindful Eating is an 8 week program of 
 the Sage Healing Institute. 

For more information visit: www.sagehealinginstitute.com.
©All rights reserved Ellen M. Adelman PhD 12/2012.

The Sad Child Within

Today is a day that I awakened and was grateful to do so. Breathing into my body, I noticed my ability to sense my toes and my belly and my heart, even to the top of my head.

Today is a day that I sent my mind to a place of intention. Intention to care for myself and others, all day, in a way that is nurturing and beneficial. In that moment I felt my physical self relax into the present.

Today is a day that I cared for my morning body with presence and lovingkindness. Breathing in I am brushing my teeth; breathing out I am grateful for my strong teeth. Breathing in I step into the shower; breathing out I open to a deep experience of the warm water on my back.

Today is a day that I sat to meditate. Focusing on the breath, I found my center on the cushion. Breathing in, I was aware of thoughts; breathing out I let them tumble to the floor behind me, like pieces of a lego puzzle. Breathing in I am open to my heart; breathing out I listen.


Today is a day that I encounter the sad child within. Breathing in I acknowledge her pain; breathing out I send her lovingkindness. Even though tears may come to my eyes with the in-breath; I send compassion and tenderness to her on the out-breath. I wrap her tenderly in the arms of my kind benevolent self, and just love her. I do not need to run away.

Many people are unaware of the pain they carry within their own psyche. Because we live in a culture that does not like to support or acknowledge pain, we have become great artists at removing ourselves from whatever feels difficult. We spend time distracting ourselves as much as possible; talking on the phone, messaging, watching television, playing games, eating, etc. If we are living mindfully we can become aware of the difference between enjoying these activities, instead of using them to run away from the things that are bothering us.

Some of us have been very hurt in our lifetimes and carry a great deal of damage and distress in our internal world. Some of us just carry the ordinary pain of simply living. Most of us are somewhere in between. Keeping our sadness and pain under lock and key is the source of a great deal of additional suffering, often resulting in depression, anxiety and physical illness.

When we enter a mindful life, we open the door to our inner world. Sitting in meditation and simply focusing on the breath we sometimes, unknowingly invite the presence of a whole host of characters, including the sad or injured child.

If this occurs, invite your kind mindful self, your Benevolent Witness to come and hold the sad child. Continue to focus on the breath at the belly. Notice any thoughts including ones like: “ I shouldn’t cry, because once I start I’ll never stop”; or “This is really stupid. I have nothing to cry about...”. Simply come back to focus on the breath. Send tenderness to your sad child, for as long as it takes to feel comforted. 

Deeper explorations of inner wounds are not recommended for the beginning practitioner. Sometimes the blocks of pain that we carry are too big and heavy for us to support alone. This important work can be done in the context of insight meditation and Mind Body Intelligencetm-based psychotherapy. It is also, highly recommended to everyone, to join a community of mindful practitioners and receive sustained support for your practice.

That being said; Having the experience of creating a safe inner environment to support whatever pain or difficulty is bothering you, will deepen your ability to be present for your wonderful life!

Examples of mindful communities (Sanghas) can be found at www.sagehealinginstitute.com. Sage Healers’ Sangha for healing professionals (mental health and health practitioners) and Mind Body Intelligence Sangha (for everyone).




May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman

Getting to the Meditation Cushion; 
Or  Why I shouldn’t meditate...

Sometimes its really tough to get to the meditation cushion. There’s a million things to get done in the day. There’s getting out of bed, going to work (out of the house or inside); there’s grabbing coffee, lunch, answering texts, voice mails, making calls, actually doing work, getting home in time for dinner etc, etc, etc.
 For those of you who have begun a meditation practice, carving out the time to sit is the biggest hurdle you may have. For those with an established practice that could be true for you as well!

So, here are a few insights and tips that I hope you find helpful.

•  If you find that you are engaged in a battle with your Critical Witness (the part of you that judges and criticizes) it’s best to give up!  “I should be meditating,” is guaranteed to create a lot of striving, suffering and stress.

• Inner negotiation skills here, are very important. Most of us have learned by now that bullying rarely gives the desired result. We can intimidate someone into doing what we desire but the results are transitory at best. If you want to build a real foundation for a meditation practice that you can rely on; a little compassionate dialogue between you and you will really help. The discussion is between two parts of the psyche known as the Benevolent Witness and your Little Child. The Benevolent Witness is the kinder, wiser version of the Critical Witness. Your conversation might go like this:

Benevolent Witness (BW): “I really want to meditate. I need to and its important, if I want to feel better (happy, less stressed, whole).”
 Little Child: “ I don’t want to. I don’t have time; and anyway I don’t have to listen to you”.
 BW: “I know, you are really busy and stressed and this feels like adding one more thing; but let’s try to work something out. Its really important to me.”
 Little Child: “You are too demanding. You’re asking too much. This is just stressing me out more”.
 BW: “How about we just breathe into the belly for a minute? How does that feel? (pause) What if we just sit for 5 minutes tomorrow morning?”
 Little Child: “That might be OK but I know you won’t be satisfied with that; you’ll want more, you’ll push me, and I don’t have time.”
 BW: “I promise, just five minutes, and I will feel happy. And you will feel less stressed.”
 Little Child: “Okay, if you really mean it.”

Of-course your particular negotiation might sound different, but you get the idea. It might not create the desired result the first time; but if you truly want to develop a mindfulness practice, you will eventually find yourself on your cushion, even if it is, only for 5 minutes. As you continue to develop the art of compassionate dialogue with your inner characters, the depth and breadth of your practice will grow.

• The key is to have a light touch with your inner being. Compassion and kindness are the most powerful catalysts we have for growth and change. Use these liberally and you will notice yourself moving along on your intended path.

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.