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Mindful Sex

4/28/2013

Mindful Sex

When holding our beloved, we set them free; when letting go, we embrace them with loving-kindness.
Healthy relationship between lovers is like a beautiful dance. There is a natural rhythm of coming together and moving apart; clasping and releasing, holding and freeing. All of this occurs with great tenderness and respect.

The act of love is a mirror
The physical act of love reflects the nature of the relationship we have with our beloved. We take into account the needs of the other person. We honor our own needs. How receptive are we toward each other? How open and curious?
Each touch, each caress reflects the quality of the love residing between the two.

Looking deeply into love-making
Although some may say that love-making is about physical pleasure, mindful sex is so much more. Giving and receiving pleasure mindfully,
creates a pinnacle of essential awareness; allowing us to know the beloved and ourselves in the very same moment. Sensation and movement in this loving ritual can be the gateway to a deep experience of one-ness; perhaps more exciting and meaningful than simple physical pleasure.

The responsibility of joining
When we join passionately with another human being, we are immersed in responding. We are pliant in the face of the great
energies that emerge. We are together and separate; at one with
the other and yet wholly centered.

We take great care of the needs of the two; that are the needs of one.
We enter into the moment with compassion and an open heart; creating the opportunity to engage
in a sacred act of oneness and joy.

Breathing in I am aware of the breath in my body.
Breathing out I am aware of my beloved's body.

Breathing in I feel my sensations.
Breathing out I am calm and open.

Breathing in I feel my beloved's sensations
Breathing out I know myself deeply

Breathing in I release expectations
Breathing out I am one with my lover

Breathing in I am open to pleasure
Breathing out I am whole.

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman

© Ellen M. Adelman PhD 2013, all rights reserved.

Mind Body Intelligence tm is a trademark of Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute.

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.

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Just Like Me

4/21/2013

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Just Like Me.

Walking along the streets of center city Philadelphia. Businessmen in suits on their cell phones, ardently pitching to someone unseen. Stylish women in heels with hair beautifully coifed, carefully navigating the uneven cement. Homeless people with cardboard signs; please help. Hipsters and Thirty-something ladies with up-scale strollers, or their bearded male counterparts with baby in a carrier on their chests. Slim and heavyset, young and old, walkers and joggers; all going somewhere.

Just like me.

We don’t connect

Most of us walk with eyes cast carefully down. Some look into their phones as they walk and text, or into the face of a partner. We don’t look at the Homeless person for fear they will ask for money. We don’t gaze into the face of anyone who seems threatening or too different. We move purposefully, avoiding contact with other human bodies and traffic; going wherever it is that we are going.

What if we knew each other?

What would happen if we recognized each other as human beings? What if we felt a sense of community and one-ness? Would we be comforted; perhaps less afraid?
Would we naturally feel greater compassion for each other, and less anger and aggression?

Just Like Me

If you go out into the world with the intention of experiencing one-ness, you may receive a very great benefit. Smiling just a little, into the eyes of other beings as you send loving-kindness with your mindful out-breath, is an amazing experience. Fear and criticism of the other diminishes as you realize with every step: “Just like me that person has a destination. Just like me, she wants to cross the street safely. Just like me, he is hungry for lunch. Just like me, she wishes someone would help her.”

Breathing in I am aware of the breath.
Breathing out I enter this moment.

Breathing in I am aware of everything around me.
Breathing out I am calm and unafraid.

Breathing in I smile to the world around me
Breathing out I notice human faces.

Breathing in I know; they are just like me
Breathing out I send loving-kindness

Breathing in I am one with everyone
Breathing out I am home.

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman

© Ellen M. Adelman PhD 2013, all rights reserved.

Mind Body Intelligence tm is a trademark of

Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute.

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.

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Rejoicing in Spring

4/14/2013

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Rejoicing in Spring:
Winter Creates the Space of Being.

Robin red-breasts are digging for worms in the greening garden. The magnolias are heavy with purple and cream-colored buds, as cherry blossoms scent the crisp spring air. None of these dharmas are able to come into being, without the cold contraction of Winter.
In the seemingly barren landscape, life withdraws to some secret place, and in so doing, creates the potential for birth and Spring.

Pulling back allows a new reality to flow into experience.
Often we do not trust in the process of creation; operating under the illusion that we must fill up space and time for new things to emerge. We believe that winter is a time of loss and emptiness, and suffer from the illusion that we are involved in the manifestation of Spring (or the next thing we desire).
Yet, the space created by winter’s contraction is the essential ingredient for new life, and the emergence of this wonderful moment into our awareness.

Asking Questions invites Mindfulness
When we ask the questions: Is this the most efficient way?; the healthiest way?; the most earth-friendly way?; the most loving way? We are gently contracting from assumptions and conditioned patterns of thought.
In the space that is created, clarity, new insights and realities emerge; but first, just as Galileo and Isaac Newton before us, we must be willing to give up a narrow, conditioned world view.

Reacting with Aversion
When our relationships are filled with established or rigid patterns of interaction, there is little possibility for healing, growth or love. Forgetful thinking allows experience to fill our conscious awareness completely. We understand ourselves to be one with our thoughts and feelings, as if they were the whole of reality. Hearing something hurtful from a friend, a parent, or a spouse, we may leap to defend ourselves or even to attack the other person. We are filled to the brim with pain.

Contracting Awareness like Winter
When we focus on the breath and contract our awareness to a single point, just as winter contracts; we can invite the seed of mindfulness to come and flower like a gorgeous spring blossom. Insight flows into our spacious awareness and it becomes possible to choose a compassionate and wholesome response.

Breathing in I am aware of the breath filling my body.
Breathing out I experience the space of
no-breath .

Breathing in I invite the cool emptiness of Winter.
Breathing out I open to the infinite possibility of Spring.

Breathing in I invite the seed of mindfulness and compassion.
Breathing out I take good care of my hurt feelings.

Breathing in I intend to act in mindful ways
Breathing out I take good care of my relationships

Breathing in I invite the cool emptiness of Winter.
Breathing out I open to the infinite possibility of Spring.

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman
© Ellen M. Adelman PhD 2013, all rights reserved.

Mind Body Intelligence tm is a trademark of Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute.

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.

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Psychotherapy and Meditation

4/1/2013

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Psychotherapy and Meditation:
How do they fit together?

As meditation practice has become part of the mainstream, talking about mindfulness meditation and therapy in the same breath has become more common. Famously, the book “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert has the heroine enjoy both practices, as she journeys through her difficulties to a greater understanding of who she is becoming, and what she needs for a happy life.

Many psychotherapists have incorporated mindfulness-based practices into their treatment.

Some types of mindful therapies are: Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Mind Body Intelligence (MBI). These treatments all have some connection to Buddhist Psychology and meditation practice.

Common Threads
One of the common threads is the empowerment of the patient to be an active partner in their own healing. Meditation practices can help develop a more compassionate observing self ( called the Benevolent Witness in MBI) and help reduce suffering by encouraging a greater comfort level with one’s own thoughts.

Patients suffering from anxiety can learn how the breath and concentration meditation can significantly reduce their discomfort. Patients who are experiencing depression can develop mental strategies that allow for greater flexibility in thinking, and a more wholesome outlook on their lives.

Mindful Movement
Patients who suffer from physical problems or chronic illness also benefit from these therapies. Practices like MBI that include Qigong (the parent tradition of Tai Chi) offer pathways to connect with the potential for healing the body-mind. Meditation combined with mindful movement and healing imagery has been shown to have a significant impact on physical health.
For more on this topic, I encourage you to click here.
Developing a compassionate meditation practice can become a source of insight and joy in anyone’s life. For those who are suffering, mindfulness-based psychotherapy can provide a powerful path to healing.

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman

© Ellen M. Adelman PhD 2013, all rights reserved.

Mind Body Intelligence tm is a trademark of Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute.

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.

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Greetings and Welcome to the Sage Healing Institute Web Log. We will share interesting articles, mindfulness practices and perspectives to inform and inspire your daily practice!

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