Sandy Hook Tragedy: A Mindful Perspective

How painful and difficult it is to hear of the violence that took away the lives of 26 precious human beings, 20 of whom were little children.

We experience the full gamut of human emotion in response; from rage to regret, from deepest sorrow to helplessness.
 Yet, the most tragic outcome of last week’s killing would be for us all to rest in that feeling of helplessness.

It is true. There is nothing we can do to restore those lost lives. But as members of the human community we can and must be mindful of our responsibility in this matter.

President Obama has taken the lead. He has told us that he will not accept complacency and that a plan will be formulated and action will be taken.

What can you do?
You can make it clear to your elected officials that you expect action; that this violence and aggression is not acceptable.

But even those of us who cannot yet vote, can participate in transforming this country, and this planet, every day.

• Every time you refrain from criticism and judgment toward another human being, you transform the world into a better place.
  

• Every time you breathe mindfully and center, before you say something unkind; 
  

• Every time you find a respectful and open-hearted way to express your hurt, uncomfortable or disappointed feelings;
  

• Every time you treat a child with kindness or intervene when someone is being abused; 
  

• Every time you do this, with every mindful breath, you transform the world.
  

Breathing in the pain of this tragedy, I feel the sadness in my heart.
Breathing out I send lovingkindness to all who suffer.
Breathing in I am aware of the anger and aggression in my world.
Breathing out I intend to refrain from hurtful acts.

May we all find a way to be a part of the goodness in the universe, holding our own pain and transforming it into a source of healing.

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman


Mind Body Intelligencetm is a trademark of Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute. 

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.
©All rights reserved Ellen M. Adelman PhD 1/2013.

Greetings Mindful Members,

Today we sent out our first online newsletter!
In addition to our blog and website, the new email newsletter is one more way to stay up to date.

Find out about Sangha meetings, and other unique workshops.

The newsletter is a link to our blog and other postings, offering strategies for mindfulness practice and a Mind Body Intelligence inspired view of a mindful life.

We'll be using the newsletter to stay in touch with the Sage Healing Institute, invite you to upcoming events, alert you to new programs we're offering, discuss promotions and recap all of our recent happenings.

  Rejoice in your Good Fortune!

This holiday season is a time laden with emotion. Memories of past celebrations and wishes for the future may fill our minds. For some, this is a joyous experience, for others a painful one.

For some, it is a time of community and joining in happy events with those we love; for others a time of loss and grief over days gone by. It can be a time of feeling fulfilled or a time of emptiness and longing. For many it is both.

How compelling it is to get caught up in the urgency of hanging decorations, buying presents and the challenge of navigating office parties and family gatherings. It is easy to enter a state of forgetfulness and miss the possibility of many golden, satisfying experiences.

The Loss of the Spiritual
 Every year there are editorials in the newspaper about the shameful loss of the “spiritual” as the holidays (for many) have been transformed into an “orgy of consumption.” The critical nature of these diatribes, urging us to give up materialism and be more spiritual, rub a lot of people the wrong way. Feeling defensive about our customs and traditions, we are not inclined to look more deeply into the matter; yet there is something of value here. What has been lost to us from the past? What are the roots of these spiritual practices?
 We know that these times of great darkness, at the Winter Solstice, are times of fear and despair in the history of humanity; especially before we could provide light for ourselves at night. Across many cultures, including Christianity and Judaism, celebrations of light and hope were enacted. You might like to visit this Wikipedia link
to learn about these many traditions, from cultures you may have never heard of. These celebrations were meant to provide hope and a rededication to the wholesome values embodied by the symbol of light.

The Mindful Perspective
What can we do from a mindful perspective to be present and truly benefit from this time of celebration? How can we  employ our mindfulness to add our own light to the world;dispelling darkness. 

There is a wonderful Buddhist practice that has become part of the Mind Body Intelligencetm tradition. It is called “Rejoicing in your Good Fortune”. In this practice we choose to loosen our ties to clinging and to help develop an appreciation for the many gifts that we have already been given in this lifetime. The practice does not deny us the pleasure of giving or receiving material things. In fact, it may enhance our pleasure in the very acts of giving and acquiring, while diminishing the importance of the object (gift) being received. You can enjoy this practice in sitting meditation or informally, any time that seems beneficial.

“Breathing in I am aware of a gift that I have been given.”
“Breathing out I am grateful for that gift.”
 When I do this practice I am aware of the gift of being alive, of the breath, of health, of the ability to see or taste, of being creative; of my beautiful children, my husband, my pets, my home.

On the in-breath I identify the gift, on the out-breath I appreciate some aspect of the gift. 
 “Breathing in I am aware of the gift of my oldest child.
 Breathing out I enjoy the image of her face.
 Breathing in I am aware of the gift of my oldest child.
 Breathing out I cherish her kind nature.
 Breathing in......my oldest child
Breathing out I am aware of how she holds the future.”

If you invite yourself to practice like this for just a few minutes a day, you may notice a feeling of being quite wealthy. You may feel a deep sense of happiness for all  the blessings you have received. And you may notice a shift in your focus of enjoyment; when your delight comes more from the experience of being given to, and not as much from the object being given.

Of-course this practice does not intend to discount the losses or unhappiness we may be reminded of, especially at this time of year. It does afford us the opportunity to tenderly and mindfully hold those sad things, so that we have room to create an inner space where happiness may be enjoyed as well. 

From feelings of fulfillment and wealth, a natural well of generosity springs up. A generosity of spirit that enables us to be kind and loving, and to refrain from hurtful acts.

This truly creates a light against the cold darkness of winter’s criticism and judgment and holds a promise of a warm and compassionate spring for all of us!

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman

Mind Body Intelligence tm is a trademark of Ellen M. Adelman PhD and the Sage Healing Institute. 

For more information visit www.sagehealinginstitute.com.
©All rights reserved Ellen M. Adelman PhD 12/2012.

Understanding Clinging: One Great Source of Suffering

In Buddhist psychology we are taught that one of the two great sources of suffering is clinging. When we cling, we desire everything to go our way; we wish that whatever is enjoyable would continue forever. Here is an example, that in Mind Body Intelligence tm we call:“Birthday Cake Clinging”

I love birthday cake. It is part of a joyous celebration and I can give myself permission to indulge in something high in calories and fat, and very delicious. Just this once, you know...

My piece of cake is served to me and I feel happy, for a moment as I take my first bite. Now, the clinging begins. Looking around, I wonder: “Did I get the same size piece as other people? How come I didn’t get a rose?  Ahh,I should have asked. Will there be any left, after everyone has their first piece? Could I have seconds? What will people think if I do?.....”

Yes, the cake might be very delicious, but I am not present to enjoy it. I have traveled into the past with regret: (“I should have asked for a rose.”; and into the future with worry (“What will people think if I ask for more?”).
What does mindful Birthday Cake enjoyment sound like?
 First, I make the choice to be present in this moment.
“Breathing in I am excited to eat something delicious; breathing out I notice the deep brown color of the  chocolate cake”.
“Breathing in I am aware of my concern about eating so many calories; Breathing out I acknowledge my concern and choose a portion mindfully”.
“Breathing in I smell the cake; Breathing out I notice the sweet taste of the smell on my tongue.”
“Breathing in I look deeply into the cake; Breathing out I am aware of the many ingredients that come together in its formation.” 
“Breathing in I see the piece of cake on my fork; Breathing out I am grateful for the small miracle of its creation.”
“Breathing in I am aware of regret about not having more icing; Breathing out I acknowledge my regret and come back to focus on the delicious taste and texture of the icing already in my mouth.” 
“Breathing in I notice I am eating quickly; Breathing out I choose to slow down and savor each morsel.” 
 
The Benefits:
Practicing in this way offers me the gorgeous opportunity to be present in my own life and to bring this wonderful confection into my body in a loving way. My body will have time to feel satisfied, and not need more. My mind will have fully entered into the experience and feel that the cycle of acquiring nutrition and ingesting it are complete; and my spirit will be happy as I have refrained from being self-critical, opening myself to true enjoyment and pleasure.


The Nature of Clinging
 Clinging causes us suffering on two levels. 
 Residing on the first level is the belief that everything should go exactly as we would like.
 If we are married to that expectation, we will surely be disappointed, for most of our waking hours (and probably in our dreams as well). 

 As a result, when the universe unfolds in unexpected or undesirable ways; we may find that we feel chronically unhappy, become controlling with others, or we are just miserable to be around. 

On the second level; there is no way to make pleasant experiences (such as Birthday Cake) last forever. Directing our attention toward such a goal only drives us away from the moment. We miss the deep pleasure and fulfillment of the experience, and hurry down the road to find the next object or event that will give us a brief sense of happiness. 

In your practice of mindfulness, you might benefit from noticing clinging, when you can. Noticing, offers you the opportunity to refrain from clinging and open to your own experience as it unfolds! A deeper sense of contentment and joy await you!

May this information benefit you, those you love, and all sentient beings, everywhere.

-Ellen Adelman

MBI tm Mindful Eating is an 8 week program of 
 the Sage Healing Institute. 

For more information visit: www.sagehealinginstitute.com.
©All rights reserved Ellen M. Adelman PhD 12/2012.